


I'll Catch You If You Fall

by DearLady



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 14th Century, Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Temporary Amnesia, Trauma, Triggers, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), bad memories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-07-31 20:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20121151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLady/pseuds/DearLady
Summary: Crowley is having trouble sleeping. He eventually does fall asleep but when he awakens, he doesn't recognize the whited haired person in his bedroom.





	1. Perfect

Crowley paced his flat's hallway and clenched his jaw. He ran his right hand through his fiery red hair and stopped at the entrance to the room for his plants and narrowed his yellow eyes. He noted how they shook and trembled. He became even more annoyed because he hadn't yelled at them for the past few days and hadn't done anything to them. Growling under his breath, he mumbled to himself and reached for his water mister.

"Fine. I'll give you lot something to be afraid of then," he said as he started spraying them. He inspected their leaves thoroughly and gritted his teeth.

"I have told you all to grow better. Yet, here we are and this one has defiantly grown a bloody spot! You will all grow better or this will happen to the rest of you."

He grabbed the poor, trembling plant and stood in the middle of the room. He placed the small pot on the floor and looked at the rest of the shivering plants as he yelled, "Let this be a lesson to you all - once and for all! I will not tolerate anything other than perfection!"

The plant disintegrated into flames as he snapped his fingers.

He turned heel and walked out of the room and towards his bedroom. He licked his forked tongue over his lips and took his glasses off, throwing them on the table where they landed perfectly. The flat was in pristine condition and not one thing out of place. He had all of the creature comforts one could ever want. He had a fax machine and though it wasn't plugged in, it was operational should he need it to be. The white leather sofa was the very best.

He swayed his hips as he sauntered into his bedroom. The super king sized bed was perfectly made and all the furniture was stylishly situated. A chaise lounge was near the huge, double glazed window. Everything in his flat was ideal and looked at it should be.

Perfect.

Everything he possessed needed to be that way. He couldn't afford it to be damaged in anyway.

Crowley sat on the pure white chaise and hung his head, leaning forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair and clenched his jaw.

He hissed to himself as he mindlessly pulled at his hair, "Perfect. Perfect. Must be absssssolutely perfect. I need it to be absssolutely perfect. If you're not perfect, you will fall."

He stopped shaking for a moment and tried to remember to breathe. Though he didn't need it, he heard from Aziraphale once that the humans do that through their nose and out through their mouths to calm down.

The logical part of his mind knew he should be happy or, at the very least, relieved. After all, he and Aziraphale had helped stop the end of the world War from happening only a few days ago.

Armageddon.

Doomsday.

They had talked Heaven and Hell into backing off of them. He didn't need to worry about that at all anymore. Especially because the wonderful thing about that was he and his angel could finally be together and do as they wished. He could dine at the Ritz or picnic at St. James Park.

He should be preparing his flat for when Aziraphale returns home in a few hours. He should have a perfect evening ready for them to enjoy but that wasn't the case.

Crowley bit his lower lip and closed his eye. Then, he fell to his right slowly and laid upon the soft chaise lounge. He pulled his knees up to his chest and the memories of the last 6,000 years flooded his mind. No, even before then. From the time he fell from God's grace and being shunned by Her. The cries of countless numbers of children in the Great Flood. The Plague of the 14th Century.

Everything wrong and imperfect that had ever happened ran through his mind and it frustrated him to no end that now that he was alone in his flat to really breathe and relax, he should be doing that.

Unfortunately, he could not make those memories stop. The room started to spin out of control and he felt his chest heaving. He furrowed his brow and whimpered as he hugged his knees. Crowley curled himself up into a protective ball and snapped his fingers to conjure a heavy blanket around himself.

He nodded to himself as he trembled and whispered, "I just need some sleep. Relax for a moment. It will all be better. I'll just sleep until my Angel comes home. He'll make this all better. He'll make everything perfect. Divinely perfect...."

Crowley held the heavy blanket for dear life up to his shoulders and closed his eyes. He could feel his still whirring but he kept breathing in that constant pattern and, finally, he was able fall to sleep.

********

Aziraphale smiled to himself as he turned to sign to closed on his bookshop and walked to the bus stop to catch the next one to Crowley. First, he wanted to stop by a new Crepe Shop and pick up the order he had placed before he finished his day. He turned the lock and put the key in his pocket with a smile. He smoothed out his jacket and was happy with how everything transpired.

He made it a point to smile to the nice lady at the shop and the bus driver as well as everyone he met. Humanity was safe and he didn't think anything could possibly bring him down. He had planned a relaxing evening and wanted to bring up to Crowley a few ideas he had on redecorating the flat.

He could now enjoy his days on Earth with his best friend and they could live together.

He looked forward to sharing every single day and skipped steps as he walked a little faster as he got closer to the flat. He took the key out of his jacket pocket that he was given. Pushing the key in and entering the flat, he looked around and didn't see the tall, attractive demon. Aziraphale placed the box of crepes on the kitchen countertop and bit his lower lip.

He called out in a sing-song voice, "My dear boy, where are you?"

He listened but there was no answer back. Aziraphale walked to through the flat and made his way to the bedroom. He knew that Crowley hadn't slept the last few days since Arma-didn't and thought perhaps he was finally able to get some rest. He saw Crowley's entire form covered in one of the heavy blankets. Only a few stray strands of his hair peeked out from under the white blanket and Aziraphale tilted his head.

"That's rather odd. It's not remotely cold in here," he whispered to himself and walked closer to his best friend. His soul-mate.

He leaned over and pulled the blanket back a bit to reveal Crowley's handsome face. The Angel smiled at how innocent the slender demon looked. So peaceful. He bent down to give Crowley a soft kiss on his cheek and smiled when his lips touched the Wiley old serpent. Aziraphale closed his eyes, relishing the moment, and lingered there for a moment.

A loud hiss made him open his eyes as well as the most terrified shriek he had ever heard. He felt his body move back from being shoved and he reached his hand to his chest, startled at what in the hell just happened.

"Now, my dear boy. What on earth---", Aziraphale started.

"Who are you? What do you want? How did you get in here?"

"What do ---"

Crowley fell backwards, hitting his head on wooden part of the chaise lounge, and moved as fast as he possibly could to the wall. He sat on the floor, clutching the blanket as he pulled it up to his chest and looked around the room. He looked up at the white haired person standing above him and furrowed his brow as he whispered, "Where am I?"

The slender demon whimpered and slowly moved one hand to the back of his head.

Aziraphale looked down at Crowley and softened his face. He noticed a bit of red on the blanket that Crowley was holding on to dear life and wiggled his fingers as he tried to find the best way to approach him. He softened his voice and spoke as calmly as he could, "You live here. This is your flat, Crowley. Is it quite alright if I come closer to you?".

Crowley moved, or attempted to move further back, but he was already backed into the corner. He turned to his side and kept the blanket close to him but kept his eyes on the man trying to advance. He caught the words that the man said - _this was his flat? _

"What do you mean this is my flat? And who is Crowley?"

* * *

*TBC*


	2. In This Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale tries to get to the bottom of what's going on with Crowley.

Aziraphale's face fell as he looked closely at his cowering, trembling mate. He held his hands out in front of himself to show Crowley that he meant no harm.

"My dear boy. Can I please come closer to you? I think you have a rather nasty bump on your head from that fall. I can help you," Aziraphale said as he made a few slow steps forward. The Angel closed his eyes for a moment and sent calming energy to his friend. He could sense the agony radiating off the lanky being and wanted to soothe him as much as he possibly could.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Crowley remained on the floor but he wasn't trembling near as bad. Aziraphale rose both of his eyebrows as he looked into his eyes and nodded, hoping that permission would be granted. Crowley kept his eyes trained on the person towering over him. He swallowed and felt …safe. He couldn't explain it but being in this stranger's presence made him at ease.

He spoke barely over a whisper and rubbed the back of his head. It stung and he nodded, "Alright. Don't hurt me, though. Please."

Crowley immediately bit his lip and wondered why he would have said that in the first place. From what he could tell so far, this stranger wasn't going to hurt him.

_What the hell is going on inside of me?_

"Oh, my dear. I have no intention of causing you any harm at all. I swear it," Aziraphale said with a comforting smile as he moved closer to Crowley. He knelt beside him at eye level and rose his hands to Crowley's head.

"Would you please turn around so I can take a look? There's a good lad."

Crowley nodded. He searched his mind to try to figure out where he was and, more importantly, who the hell he was. He felt the most tender touch on the back of his head and, if he was at ease before, he now felt a wave of tranquility pour over him as the soft caress of the man's fingers moved through his hair. He closed his eyes as he relaxed and swallowed a bit, licking his dry lips.

"That does feel nice. You have a gentle touch, whoever you are."

"Well, my name is Aziraphale," the Angel said with a sad smile. He didn't know exactly what was wrong with his friend but he tried to keep his voice as even as possible while he tried to figure that out.

He had seen so much pain in the world and he had felt rather sad about it. He had shed many tears over the centuries. However, the pain he felt right now deep in his chest was indescribable. To have the one he loved look at him without recognizing him was something that he had never expected. He shook his head as he tried to compose himself, knowing that whatever was going on with Crowley, he had to help bring him back.

He had heard the humans talking about something called amnesia and that was what he thought might be happening here. He needed to ask some questions to try and figure this out. Crowley had called him clever before.

He continued moving his fingers through Crowley's soft hair and smiled as he asked, "Can you tell me your name, dear boy?"

"Well. I could tell you if I bloody well knew it, couldn't I?" Crowley's back visibly tensed.

Aziraphale breathed in and nodded, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything.

Crowley sighed and closed his eyes as he leaned into the man's touch, "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that at you. You're only trying to help."

"Think nothing of it, dear boy. The wound seems to be quite deep."

"It hurts, yes."

"I think I can heal this it for you. Would you like that?"

"If you can make the pain go away, I'd appreciate it."

The Angel closed his eyes and placed his fingers at the wound. He sent healing energy to his friend and the wound closed. After that, Aziraphale snapped his fingers and all the blood had vanished.

"There we go. All better now, yes?" the Angel said, looking down as Crowley turned around and put his hand where the wound was. He looked at his fingers and saw that there was no blood and he didn't even feel a scar.

"How did you do that?"

"Oh. I've got my ways," Aziraphale said. He didn't know if he should go ahead and reveal what he was to Crowley. "I'm rather good at helping people. You look like you need help. Is there anything else I can do?"

Crowley narrowed his eyes and looked at the other man suspiciously. He was so unsure of everything. One thing that did seem to be safe was this man. He swallowed and whispered, "Can you help me figure out what's going on with me? I really don't know what's going on."

"Oh. Well," Aziraphale sighed and knew from the books he had read that you had to be delicate in these situations. Too much, too soon could cause more harm than good.

"Well, you see. My name is Aziraphale…"

"I know who you are. You've already told me that."

"Quite right. I'm sorry."

"'s alright. I didn't mean to snap. I do that a lot but I don't mean any harm."

"You are forgiven," Aziraphale replied and looked at Crowley a bit closer to see how he'd react. he expected him to go on a rant of how unforgiveable he was. How he had fallen from God's grace. What he got was something entirely different.

"Thank you. Your name is rather long. Can I call you something else?"

Aziraphale furrowed his brow and sighed. He truly didn't remember who he was. My dear sweet boy. He cleared his throat and tried to stay as calm as he could, "Well. You don't like my name?"

"It's not that. I just feel like I could remember something shorter."

"Um. Well, let's see.."

"Oh wait. I know what I can call you. Angel. You healed me after all, right? The bump on my head. Angels go around healing people."

Aziraphale breathed in as he felt his breath catch. He closed his eyes slowly and half smiled, "Yes, dear boy. You can call me Angel if you'd like."

"Good. Angel it is, then."

"What would you like me to call you?"

"Don't know right yet. I don't know anything. I know that you must like me an awful lot to go through all this trouble."

"Well. I can understand that. We can work it out later if you'd like. No pressure. And yes, I do rather like you."

"No pressure. That sounds like a good thing."

Aziraphale smiled and moved a bit as he was still kneeling beside Crowley on the floor. He took in a quick breath and said, "If I may make a suggestion. You might be rather hungry. I did bring something to eat if you'd like to join me. It's in the other room."

Crowley titled his head and couldn't explain it but he felt confused yet calm in this person… this Angel's presence. He nodded and moved to stand up. Aziraphale hurried to his feet and offered his hands to help him up.

"Take it easy and slow, my dear. Yes. Just like that…"

Crowley smiled and made his way to his feet. He left the white blanket on the floor and smoothed out his silk black pajamas. He thought they were rather nice but he didn't remember putting them on. He shrugged and tried to gain his footing.

"Thanks, Angel."

"A pleasure to help. Follow me, if you will."

Crowley nodded as they moved to the kitchen. He watched the Angel move around to collect the plates and food. He couldn't help but feel lost yet comfortable in the same fabric and he didn't know what to make of anything.

"My dear. You can have a seat in that chair over there and I'll bring everything we need to the table. Is that okay?"

Crowley nodded and took a seat as Aziraphale finished setting the table.

"All of the plates are in this cabinet. Your refrigerator is always stocked with everything you could possibly need for food. Do you need anything before I sit down?"

"Thank you, Angel. I'm fine. Have a seat."

He took his seat beside Crowley and opened the box of crepes.

He smiled, "Take any one of them that you'd like."

Aziraphale poured Crowley's glass full of water and his own as Crowley chose one of the banana and chocolate filled crepes to put on his plate. Aziraphale took one of the same and picked up his fork.

Crowley watched him closely and copied what he was doing.

"There. Don't be shy. Take whatever you'd like."

Aziraphale loved the taste of crepes. However, tonight he could do no more than push them around his plate with his fork. He tried to not stare at Crowley so much but he was failing miserably. He wished that he could bring back his mate's memories. He might be able to heal him but he didn't want to risk it. He had never actually healed someone of amnesia and wasn't sure if he'd cause irreversible damage which would do more harm than good.

He was broken out of his thoughts at Crowley's distressed voice, "Angel. Stop staring at me. You're making me very uncomfortable. "

Aziraphale sat up straight and shook head as he said, "I do apologize. I didn't mean to stare. I was just trying to figure out… I just mean. Do you remember anything at all?"

"I remember something touching me here," Crowley said as he pointed to his cheek. "It felt soft and kind. I woke up and you were over me. I know that I know words. I can speak. I know that I can eat this thing you call a crepe. I know that you're shorter than I am. I know that your name is Angel."

"Before that though?"

Crowley lowered his head and closed his eyes as he tried to remember. He put his elbows on the table and Aziraphale squelched down his gut reaction to say something about proper etiquette at the dinner table. He listened for Crowley to say something as he watched him. He started shaking, visibly frustrated at not being about to recall anything and gritted his teeth before he said, "There was nothing before. No memories." He felt wretched for being able to remember something but then he realized that there was one thing. He wanted to prove to the man he was sitting next to that he wasn't stupid, "Oh. Your real name is Az -ssssss- iraphale."

Aziraphale heard the snake's hiss from Crowley's lips as he had countless times. He shot a look at Crowley and saw him blushing bright red.

"I don't know where that came from, Angel. I'm ssss-orry," Crowley whimpered as his hands started to shake. Not only could he not remember, he had some kind of a lisp to go with it.

"Are you quite alright, dear boy?"

"Of course I'm not alright. I can't remember anything and I'm ssss-orry. Why do I keep hisssssing like that?" Crowley asked as he tried to hold back tears. "Why am I doing that?!? Make it sssssssss-top, pleassseeee!"

Aziraphale shoved his untouched crepe away from himself and turned his body to Crowley's as he reached to hug him. Crowley shook as the strong embrace from Angel wrapped around him. He wanted to resist the kindness. He wanted to turn this man away from him. How could he be worthy if he couldn't even remember _his own bloody name_ and couldn't even speak properly?

"Shhh. There there, my dear. It's going to be alright. I'm here with you. Just relax. I got you. I will not leave you and we'll get through this together. Okay?"

Crowley relaxed his body and surrendered in Aziraphale's arms. In all the thousands and thousands of years Aziraphale had known Crowley, he had never done this before. This was new to him. The demon he held protectively in his arms right now accepted his hug. He felt his heart beat faster as he tried to calm Crowley down. He felt the lanky demon shed tears into his freshly pressed jacket and held him tighter.

And Aziraphale did not care one bit if his jacket got ruined by Crowley tears. He would catch every single one of them if he had to. He held on to his friend and let him cry as much as he needed.

With a kiss to the top of Crowley's head, Aziraphale swallowed hard as a silent tear fell down his cheek.

"We're in this together, my dear boy. Always. I've got you."


	3. Sauntered Vaguely Downwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Aziraphale tries to learn more about amnesia, Crowley takes a nap and his dreams reveal more into who he was.

Azirphale used all the strength he could to hold back his tears he wanted to shed. He had to be strong and help Crowley fully come back to him and remember. He recalled seeing a computer in the room designated as Crowley's office. He went to make himself a cup of hot cocoa in hopes it would help calm him down while he did his research after helping Crowley get into bed for a nap. The mental stress from earlier had visibly worn the poor demon out.

Not saying that Aziraphale wasn't also mentally exhausted but he had a mission. He vowed to himself that he would help in any way possible and do whatever it took.

Grabbing his cocoa and placing it gently on the desk, he sat in the chair with his back straight and fixed his spectacles to see the monitor clearly. He pushed the button to bring the machine to life but bit his lip when nothing happened.

"That's rather odd. This computer looks brand new. It should definitely work," Aziraphale muttered to himself.

The thing about Crowley's flat is that, while it did have everything he could possibly need, hardly any of it was in running condition. He had a state of the art stereo system but with no speakers. A refrigerator stocked with food that would never expire, indeed. In that same sense, it never needed to be defrosted or plugged in.

Aziraphale sat back in his chair and groaned as he thought about how everything in Crowley's apartment looked as though he had all the creature comforts. In reality, it was just an illusion of some sort. The angel sipped his cocoa and took a moment to calm himself to think properly and wondered if that might, in fact, have something to do with everything.

From the top of Crowley's head all the way down to those black trousers he wore, down to his boots, the old serpent always appeared to have not a care in the world. Obviously, on the inside of his beautiful mind, something was rather troubling his old friend.

"Appearances indeed," Aziraphale whispered as he sipped his cocoa.

He sat his cocoa down and stood up. He obviously didn't have the necessary materials to research more into amnesia but he could get his hands on something to get started. He looked at his watch and noticed that it was still not too late and he could go to the bookshop around the block to pick up some reading material. He walked carefully to Crowley's bedroom and noticed that the demon was still deep in sleep. The Angel licked his lips and promised himself he wouldn't dawdle about.

Rushing over to his overcoat, he threw it on and locked the flat securely as he made his way to the bookshop to pick up information on his friend's condition.

**************

Crowley drifted deeper into sleep and dreams came to him. He had hoped that his slumber would be a restful one and he was quite aware that he was asleep. He stumbled upon a figure that looked like himself creating the stars and the nebula were shown before him. He watched this version of himself with a confused look upon his features. The version in front of him had a huge grin on their face as the being moved his hands like an orchestra leader and he worked diligently. He obviously was trying hard to make everything perfect as he hung the stars all around and the moons.

Crowley looked at his doppelganger closely and noticed that he was dressed in a long flowing emerald gown. He also saw a pair of fully grown wings on the figure's back which were pure white. He thought how this version of himself looked absolutely gorgeous.

He noticed another figure moving forward to the creator of the stars and this person had a different energy about them. They looked to be the most beautiful version of a male that he'd ever seen. Blonde hair, sky blue eyes, and a rather odd smirk on their face of arrogance.

"What are you doing, Raphael?" the figure questioned.

"Oh. The Lord asked me to work on the stars and the universe today to help Her."

"Why would you want to do a thing like this?"

"Well, of course I'm not going to say no to Her. This is for God's glory after all."

"Ah, yes. God's glory. I bet you won't even get a shred of credit for your work here."

"Lucifer, you know that doesn't matter to me. As long as it gets done, who cares who did what?" Raphael laughedthis person called Lucifer off and shook his head. Crowley walked closer to this vision but stayed quiet. It looked so real and he didn't want to get caught eavesdropping. Part of him knew that he was still in dream world. However, it looked and felt so real to him as though this actually was something that happened. He felt it in his heart.

"My dear Raphael. Have you ever wondered how things get done? And why God has you do these things for Her?"

"It's all part of Her plan, Lucifer. You know that."

"And what plan is that?"

"I don't know. It's Her plan and we're not meant to know it."

"Really now? And why not?"

The being known as Raphael arched an eyebrow with a shrug, "Well. We're not supposed to know. Ineffable and all that, you see?"

"Of course. Look. I'm getting a group of us angels together and I think you might find some of what we talk about rather interesting. You should come. We could use someone like you."

"Me? Why in Heaven would you need me?"

"Oh. I have my reasons," Lucifer said with a smile. "I mean, we've known each other for awhile. What could it hurt to show up?"

Raphael sighed and licked his lips as he hung the last star for the day. It was meant to bring light to the other planets. It was bright and vibrant with its yellow, red, and orange colors. It had been his best work to date but God would get the credit. She needed the glory because that seemed to be a part of Her plan.

He titled his head in wonderment of what that plan was exactly. He dropped his hands to the side and wiggled his fingers as he turned to face Lucifer. "When is this meeting of yours?"

"Meet me behind the pyramid when the clock strikes the next hour. I'll show you where to go."

"I'm meant to meet with Her, though, after I've finished my assignment. It might run over into the next hour."

"If you're late, I'll have one of my associates meet you at the entrance. Better late than never."

_Crowley narrowed his eyes as the scene changed in his dream and another popped into his vision. This time, a younger man with a beautiful voice was talking with his doppelganger. _

"What have you to report for us today, Raphael?" the man asked.

"Metatron, I have come to report that I've finished creating the stars and the large one to give light to the rest of the planets. They are hung perfectly."

"Raphael. While the Lord your God does appreciate Your work, don't forget to give the glory to Her."

"Of course, of course. I didn't mean -"

"It sounds like a hint of arrogance in your voice."

"Please forgive me."

"Be mindful, Archangel Raphael. You have been bestowed many wondrous gifts from God. Don't forget. Do you have any other news to report?"

"I wondered if I might ask God a question about Her ineffable plan and why the Universe is being created right now?"

"SILENCE!"

Crowley watched as Raphael trembled and fell to his knees at the voice called Metatron.

"Of course. Please, forgive me."

"You should be more mindful of your tongue. Did I say you could talk?"

"I….I…"

"Archangel Raphael. You know the penalty for asking questions and you are disobeying the Voice of God even now. I've commanded you to stop talking and you keep doing so. You're still a relatively young Archangel and you must learn and grow better into your position as an Archangel!"

Crowley watched as this Archangel shivered as Metatron verbally chastised Raphael and felt his own heart ache at the sight.

"Was just a question…." Raphael muttered softly.

"What did you say?" Metatron asked.

Raphael shook his head and prostrated himself before the Voice of God.

"The cheek of your behavior will not go unpunished. You will dine alone tonight, Raphael. You will learn your place and will not talk to any other angels tonight as you eat in the solitary chambers. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I understand."

_Crowley couldn't understand what was so terrible about asking questions. Why was Raphael being forced into solitude and silence over something so mundane. He looked up again and noticed that his dream had changed once more. _

He remembered what Lucifer looked like from the other vision and saw him standing just outside the entrance to a pyramid. The Archangel Raphael had a green hood over his head as he moved slowly and undetected.

"I see that you've made it."

"I got out of the divine meeting early today. I'm supposed to be punished tonight at dinner in the solitary chamber."

"You? Punished? What in Heaven for?"

"I asked questions. About the plan," Raphael whispered.

Lucifer grinned at this and nodded. "Now that is a surprise. Good on you. How'd that turn out?"

"As one can expect. You know what they do to angels in the solitary chamber and I'm an Archangel. Gabriel is not going to be gentle either. So, how is that good? How can that possibly, even remotely be a good thing? I should have kept my tongue silenced. You know what happens when you're meant to go to the solitary chamber!"

"Don't worry about it, Raphael. All you did was ask a question. It's not the end of Heaven."

Raphael sputtered in shock, "Don't worry about it? I have to show up and accept my punishment."

"But do you really, dear Raphael? Why subject yourself to the wrath of God? You could just not show up."

"You can't just not do what you're told."

"You really could. But Come on. It won't take long to get to my little get together and, if it means that much to you to show up for your 'punishment', you can leave early."

Raphael nodded and moved behind Lucifer as he led them to the meeting room. Crowley followed behind them and watched quietly as they walked up a long set of spiral stairs. Finally, they entered a gorgeous room filled with gold plating and a flame in the center. He moved to the back to watch what was happening and kept his eyes on his doppelganger.

Raphael was directed to sit in the back.

Crowley looked about the room and saw a legion of angels taking seats before a stage that Lucifer was headed towards. His eyes darted as he took the scene in and breathed.

"Here here, angels! Thank you for coming today!"

The room erupted in applause at the sound of Lucifer's voice. It didn't go unnoticed to either Crowley or Raphael that all of them held swords, daggers, and a full arrangement of weapons.

"We have been working towards this day for a long time and it is finally here. The Rebellion is upon us at last!"

Raphael's eyes widened, Crowley noticed, and he watched as the Archangel's hand moved to his chest. The Archangel looked around quickly and noticed that every angel in the room was well prepared for a battle.

Crowley's eyes shifted over the room and could feel the intense urge to run.

Raphael leaned against the wall and swallowed hard. He had merely wanted to ask questions to God. He didn't want to outright rebel against Her. Crowley watched as Raphael eyes darted towards the exit and the spiral stairs that could lead him to safety.

The Archangel was fully aware that he had to get his wits about him as he sauntered towards the staircase and moved vaguely downwards to reach the exit. He didn't want to bring too much attention to himself as the angels began their war cry for Rebellion against Heaven. As he walked towards the exit, he said to himself, "Just go to the dining room. Present myself for the solitary chamber. Take my punishment and it'll all be alright. Right?"

Crowley moved in his dream to watch where Raphael was going and if he'd get out safely. Surely, he had to be alright.

Raphael stopped in his tracks as he opened the door and was met with a multitude of God's army. The Angel before him and the most intense violet eyes he'd seen and held his sword at Raphael's neck, "You dare to partake in a rebellion against the Lord God? Vile, wicked being! You, of all angels, the Archangel Raphael?"

"No. No, you don't understand. I didn't mean to be here. I-I---"

"Don't you lie to me! You are in the demon's lair.You will be cast from Heaven by God's decree. I, Archangel Gabriel, condemn you to fall from God's grace and are henceforth cast from Heaven!"

Crowley watched as the other angels grabbed Raphael roughly and tore his emerald green gown from his body. They were none to gentle as angry scratches and welts formed on Raphael's flesh. Crowley felt tears form in his eyes as he saw the Archangel being ripped of his dignity.

The angels forced Raphael to stand and one grabbed Raphael's long, red hair and forced his neck to arch for Gabriel.

"To think that you were one of us. Your evil lies and attempts to fool us," Gabriel said and stared into Raphael's eyes.

"No, no, no. You don't understand, Gabriel. Please, show me mercy. I didn't intend for this to happen -"

Gabriel reached forward and grabbed Raphael's tongue and snapped his fingers, forcing the beautiful tongue to split in two as he said, "Forked tongue liar! You deserve everything that's happening to you right now."

"Gabriel? Pleassssssee. I didn't. I wouldn't. We're friendsssss," Raphael's voice broke as he pleaded. "Don't let this happen. It hurts."

The Archangel Gabriel, then, put a hand on the beautiful white wings and turned them black, devoid of all the purity that was previously there. Crowley watched as Raphael's eyes turned to yellow with a black slit in the center.

"I imagine that it does hurt. And trust me, Raphael. This is going to hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me. You were meant to be perfect but you're sullied! Get Thee Out Of Heaven, Foul Fiend!"

Raphael cried in agony as the angels continued to push him and strike him with Divine Whips. Crowley watched in horror as a huge hole formed in the ground and Raphael was thrown into the hole, completely naked and vulnerable, and ran towards him. He looked down from Heaven as the Archangel fell and felt his own body shake.

"NO!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!" Crowley screamed.

********

Crowley felt hands on his own body and he writhed to get them away from him. He felt sweat dripping off his forehead.

"Dear boy, come on now. Wake up. Please," he heard a familiar voice trying to break him from his dream. He opened his eyes and lost purchase of the bed he held on to for dear life and started to fall. He felt a pair of strong arms catching him before he landed on the hard floor. He cracked his eyes open and looked into the eyes of his Angel.

"It was just a bad dream," Aziraphale said as he helped Crowley back into bed. "You're quite alright. I'm here. See? Nothing to be afraid of."

"Oh. I don't know about that," Crowley whispered. He started coughing as he wiped the tears from his eyes and Aziraphale conjured a glass of water for him to drink.

"What on earth do you have to be afraid of, my dear? Why are you crying?"

Crowley shook his head and felt his hands tremble as he held on to his glass of water to his lips. He reached his fingers to his tongue and felt his tongue was split. He turned to Aziraphale and breathed in slowly.

"Angel. Let me see your tongue."

"I'm sorry. What?"

"Please. Let me see your tongue, Angel."

"Alright," Aziraphale conceded and stuck his tongue out slowly for Crowley who looked in horror when he saw that Angel's tongue was not forked at all. He jumped out of bed and ran to a mirror. He gazed into his own eyes for the first real time since he'd forgotten who he was. He opened his mouth and saw his forked tongue and put both hands on the wall as he braced himself. This couldn't be real. A dream is just a dream, right? Nothing more.

He looked at himself closer and noticed the similarities between himself and the Archangel called Raphael in his dream.

_What in the hell is going on?_

As he continued look at himself, he questioned rather slowly, "Angel. Who is Lucifer and Gabriel?"

Aziraphale arched and eyebrow and swallowed hard.

"Where… where did you learn those names from?"

"And who exactly is the Archangel Raphael?"

Aziraphale felt his heart stop and moved his lips to speak. He shook his head and tried to smile reassuringly.

_ Closing his eyes, he thought, "Oh dear." _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for checking out my first fanfic in this fandom. I've been wanting to write a piece for Good Omens for awhile and something surrounding amnesia.  
I wanted to get the first 3 Chapters done as the basis for where this story is heading and I do hope you enjoy it! Don't worry, there is a happy ending through all this angst. 
> 
> Also, I am planning to update the next chapter by Sunday (August 11) as I have the day off to do so, then. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments or if you have any suggestions/ideas as this story continues. I am doing the writing and editing myself so if you see any blatant errors, I would highly appreciate it if you'd let me know so I can fix it. 
> 
> Thanks again and happy reading!


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